How to Deal with Sadness
I have always associated certain smells with memories and seasons of the year. There are the obvious - the way the air smells in the winter, the smell of something yummy baking in the oven... and then there are other smells, like the smell of school letting out for summer. I don't know how to describe it, besides the smell of freedom. Can I get that as a candle? I want to smell the scent of freedom when I sit down and relax.
For me, smells not only bring back memories of events, but they bring back how I felt during that memory. When I feel emotions, I feel them deeply. I don't hold back. When I am angry, I am red hot and I fume. When I am sad, I am blue and weepy. When I am happy, I am bright and smiley.
With that in mind, you can imagine that my feelings don't die down easily. Even when old memories come back to me, they feel fresh. Like I am back in time, reliving the memory all over again.
Last year around this time, I went through something that hurt me deeply. I felt like a pumpkin that was scooped out and left on the porch to rot. I felt betrayed, taken advantage of, and just downright sad. Over time those wounds healed and I was able to forgive.
This year, when the weather began to turn and my house started to feel cold and smell the way it did last fall, I felt a sharp pain in my heart. How could something that I thought I had moved on from a year ago shoot me like an arrow to the chest? There I was, a whole year later, crying over something that had hurt me, a whole year ago, like it just happened yesterday - all because of a smell. I told you - smells bring back memories, and memories bring back feelings.
I am all for wallowing in my sadness - for a little while. But I don't want to be sad this year. I am over feeling sad. I want to enjoy the quickly approaching holidays. I was a mess last year. I had been hurt and it took a lot for me to move on. I have come a long way since then, but I am still working on not feeling so sad.
So how do I cope? Here are a few things to do - and not to do - to deal with sadness that just won't budge.
Allow yourself to feel sad. Cry if you need to, listen to a few sad songs, watch a sad movie. Let it out.
Allow yourself to move on. Forgive yourself and others involved.
Read encouraging scriptures and quotes. Post them on your mirror or bedroom wall if you need to. I will post some scriptures and quotes that have helped me at the end of this post.
Turn to substances. It is never a good idea to drown your sorrows in drugs, alcohol, or even food. You may feel numb or satisfied in the moment, but you will feel a lot worse after.
Take your sadness out on others. This is hard for me, because my sadness often turns to anger, and if unresolved, I tend to lash out at those closest to me. This is never okay to do.
Isolate yourself from those who love you. Take some time and space if you need to, but don't shut out the people who love and care for you.
Quotes & Scriptures to Help Cope with Sadness
Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and my God! Psalm 42:11 NLT
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
"Storms don't last forever."
"Once you choose hope, anything is possible." — Christopher Reeve
"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly." — Richard Bach
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